All hot dogs are sausages, but not all sausages are hot dogs.

This was the consensus I was able to arrive to after months of surveying those who have accompanied me down my dog hole. I began asking mostly because I couldn't decide if I could, or whether I should, include "sausages" as a part of my quest. I also began asking because there are so many different names for a hot dog. "Hot dog" itself - I will dig into the background of that nomenclature later - "wiener", "frank(furter)"...it became difficult for me to discern if or how a hot dog is truly different from a sausage or any of those other denominations. But then I realized, "oh - of sausages (or what I would personally consider thus) there are many." Which should mean a hot dog is just another sausagal (making that a word) variation? Hm, let's start at the beginning.

If you ask Google who invented the hot dog, or how hot dogs came to America, the most popular return speaks of a man named Charles Feltman. A German immigrant who ran a frankfurter stand in New York back in the 1800’s found a way to help beachgoers carry and eat their red-hot meat tubes by placing them in a sliced-open long bun. Simple enough.

So here, the hot dogs are referred to as “frankfurters.” All German sausages are named for the region from whence they came. Every town has their own special blend kind of deal – like the way the U.S. has own our regional dogs now (difference being that the toppings vary, but the base remains the same). Mr.Feltman hailed from Frankfurt-am-Main, Germany, which is why the sausage he was slinging was referred to as a “frankfurter.” Clear?

Now, on to the name as we know it today, nearly 160 years from its conception: Hot Dog. The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (hi, are you hiring?) claims that the Germans themselves would joke about the appearance of the frankfurter sausages, feeling they resembled their own sawed-off canines - the dachshund. There we have “dog,” simplified for New Yorkers who didn’t speak German and couldn’t spell or say dachshund + served “hot,” since they were also at the time referred to as “red hots” based on the heat from the grills used to cook them = “hot dogs.” This equation works in reverse, as I feel like dachshunds have also been called “wiener” dogs in popular culture.

Cute cartoons ads drawn at the time featured dachshunds in buns. Unfortunately, this may have had a bit of adverse effect and could mark the beginning of the rumors and mystique surrounding ~just exactly what kind of animal meat~ those street vendors of yesteryear were using for their sausages. This is unsurprising, as we still think immigrants eat dogs in 2024.

I said earlier, of sausages there are many. Most every culture has its own form of sausage. Germany, mother country of our heroine hot dog, has like over 1,000 kinds themselves alone. I've eaten many sausages. Some in my past lives and others this summer amid my confusion of whether they should be counted among my hot dog tastings:

Of German Descent: Bratwurst, Knockwurst, Speckwurst (which to me tasted most like a hot dog), Weiswurst, Feuerwurst, Kasewurst, Nurnbergers and Regensbugers – with sauerkraut and/or mustard.

Of Italian Descent: Hot, Sweet – with peppers and onions and without. Rocco’s at the South Philly Home Depot is my favorite to be honest. I haven’t visited there yet as a part of this experiment, but reading through Jamie Loftus’ mention of the “Depot Dog” got me yearnin’...

Of Polish Descent: Kielbasa – I like to let that garlicky flavor really sail through, though something I will mustard this down as well. I don’t have any input on Czerw's vs. Swiacki’s in Port Richmond, but if you do I want to hear about it.

Of Thai Descent: Sai Ua – served to me on stick, purchased at the South East Asian Market in FDR park.

Of Korean Descent: Korean corn dogs. Eventually I will document the quiet mukbang evening I had, eating about 4 of these babies.

Of Portugese Descent: Languica – have you guys been to Gilda yet?

Of Icelandic Descent: The Pylsa – the only “hot dog”/sausage I took one bite of and refused to continue. See below, the faces say it all.

Of Spanish Descent: Chorizo – this is tough because typically I’ve eaten uncased and as a part of Mexican cuisine, so Mexicans please call me out if this one was not a colonizer original.

Lastly, of Germantown Descent: Everything from Deke’s.

It makes sense that sausages are a global cuisine. Sausages were created in ancient times to use up every bit of animal meat, today the process seems the same for hot dogs with perhaps less scary stuff than you might imagine and simply more industrialization. Cuts of meat that are too small to be sold on their own are mixed down to create a hot dog “batter,” which yes that’s gross, but it doesn’t seem like they grinding up all the things lore might have you believe is secretly in there. If you are skeptical, simply read the back of the next package of hot dogs you are interested in purchasing. If you are faint of heart, “variety meats” is the term you want to look out for and steer clear of. This means that there could be organ meats used in the blend. Regardless, hot dogs and sausages seem to me to be one of the first sustainable and non-perishable food inventions, cutting down on waste and helping refine meat preservation techniques through smoking and salting.

Given all of the above, the American popularity of the hot dog also makes sense to me. A cheap, accessible, imperishable, grab and go food item that won’t interfere with productivity, and whose manufacturing can be scaled up to satisfy not only our appetite for gluttony, but for capitalism and industry? I mean really, if we had hot dogs 100 years earlier Betsy would have been using a lot more brown and yellow thread than red or blue.

Now here comes the full circle moment – you know what else you can probably find all over the world now besides the local sausage? Say it with me: HOT DOGS! Americans were gifted frankfurters by the Germans and in return we gave hot dogs back to the world. Don’t believe me? Check this out - when you get off a plane in Frankfurt, Germany (the same city from which our alleged hot dog inventor was from and home to Germany’s largest international airport) you are met with a bunch of stands named, Hermann’s Mobil. Spoiler alert: they’re sausage carts same as they ever were. And the one item on their menu in English? Come on, I know you want to say it again: HOT DOGS! They’re universal. If every culture has a sausage, maybe the hot dog is America’s. I was confused before because I was thinking of hot dogs and sausages as separates, but that’s not right. All hot dogs are sausages, but not all sausages are hot dogs because hot dogs are the most famous, internationally adored sausages there are!

I want to continue here, but I think putting in a review right now would be too much to consume, ha. SO, next week my review will be something of a frank face-off. A battle betwixt the 6 OG (Original German) sausages I tried at Brauhaus Schmitz and 4 All-American doggies from a trip across river to Weber’s & Five Guys. Come back to get it hot.